Embracing the New Thing...

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted! It wasn't your typical tired. You know, the kind that was created by lack of sleep or nightmares. I woke up tired because my mind was running in the greatest race of it's existence! Oh Diary, how do I quiet my creative mind when I feel like it is the only thing besides God that is keeping me going? How do I believe in myself enough to make my dreams a reality?I digress. Allow me to explain myself.

My beloved pastor Jimmie Ellis III(www.vccphilly.org) charged me to dream bigger than I had ever thought possible. The question that he issued was, " Why don't you believe the promises of God? What has happened in life to prevent you from embracing the "New" you rather than the "Old" you?

My "Old" you is a peculiar young women. She was designed to be a leader but somewhere between her father's addiction and her first heartbreak she began to see herself as less. You wouldn't know it! She achieved, achieved, achieved and made the people around her think that she was fine. But, deep inside, in the place where her spirit and soul found each other irresistible- she was hurting. My "Old" me then found it hard to achieve.... My "Old" me found the it hard to believe God.

Diary, sometimes we forget that we aren't what we do, we are more than the awards and honors. We are more than the bottle that we can't make it through the day without. We are more than mothers. We are more than our bad habits. We are more than our good deeds. We are souls meant to fly free, not bound by chains or painful moments. We are designed to like butterflies, discover our beauty in the intimate processes that God graces us with. They are special... we just find it hard to embrace them.

I've come to realize that embracing the truth about yourself is not as easy as most folks may think. Although we easily embrace our shortcomings, we rarely embrace God's truth. For example, Believing that we are fearfully and wonderfully made or that we were designed to be leaders not followers. I, like most people, struggle to believe this when everything around me says different. Nonetheless, I've decided that it's time to embrace the "New" thing once and for all. So, I've designed a model to keep me focus and I may share this with other LadyDivas as well:

3 REQUIREMENTS TO FACING AND EMBRACING THE "NEW" YOU

1. Have FORTITUDE: Fortitude is defined as strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage. Lets face it, renewing your mind is going to take mental strength. You must have the focus to see the process to the end. You must know before you start the process that it won't be easy. Fortitude will give you the courage to see yourself with new eyes.

2. You must walk in FORGIVENESS: I know it sounds crazy but walking in forgiveness is the only way to truly embrace your newness. You have to forgive every person who made you question the beautiful flower that you are. More importantly, you must forgive yourself. I have come to learn that when you withhold forgiveness from yourself, you are encouraging the "Old" you to live on! Walking in forgiveness is mandatory if you truly want to see the "New" you flourish.

3. You must have FAITH: I have come to KNOW that that without faith it is impossible to please God, but it is also impossible to live an ABUNDANT LIFE. There was a time in my life when I could barely pull back my covers to see the beauty of a new day without wondering, " Why am I here?". But just then, God came riding in on a white horse and he carried me away on an amazing journey in faith. I now know that he is the solid foundation by which I must build on- not my beauty, nor my achievements. He is the ONLY sure thing in life and that is what we must all put our faith in.


I'm still tired, diary. But somewhere in the midst of my sleepy eyes and morning breath, I feel empowered. Yes, I have tons of work to do... but I'm determined to see the beauty that the day holds. I must work to see what the end will be. I owe it every LadyDiva who is standing between the "Old" and the "New". I owe it to Little Shayna Rudd, a beautiful flower who didn't ask to struggle, but inherited it in order to empower young women across this nation. Fighting has always been "my way" of dealing with hurt ( Especially the hurt from my past that found its way into my present), but in this season I am going to fight for my destiny and for the creative mind that I possess. It's time to embrace the NEW!

And IT feels good...

With all I am and will be,
THELadyDiva