And Let it Begin With You!

Writing today's inspiration feels like pushing out a baby!


Seriously!




LOL!


The message today is.... LET IT BEGIN WITH YOU!


Now, what is "it"?


True Love of oneself


Healing


Growth


Revitalization


REVOLUTIONARY Prayer AND Healing


True Leadership





We sit and complan about what others aren't doing and dish out advice we have yet to obey far tooooo much!


Instead we need to ask ourselves if we are doing the VERY best that we can do!



As I write these inpsirations, God deals with me FIRST.


He whoops me

Holds me


Shows me my mess

then shows me my passion


and I have to push it out...


but not before I try to embody the words I am writing.


LET IT BEGIN WITH YOU TODAY!


You want your life to change?

Stop waiting on Superman to come and save the day!


NEWSFLASH: HE'S ALREADY HERE AND HE HAS GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY TOWARDS CHANGE!



FORWARD EVER, BACKWARD NEVER....



Keep your eyes on your inner life instead of trying to ANALYZE every one elses.


You have no idea what folks ( Even your enemies) have to encounter.


You must be the change that you wish to see in the world


Who knows?


MAYBE THEY WILL LEARN SOMETHING FROM YOU!















Be Inspired.... Be Legendary....

The Truth About Haters....

Dear Diary,

I am an avid watcher of the Mo'nique Show and have been a fan of hers since America called her a "coon". At the beginning of her show she always says that she has to get "something off of her spirit". I laugh because I have those moments too. You know... when the heat of God's direction sits on you like the heat of New Orleans in mid- July. I woke up at 3:52am this morning and I felt something on my spirit. It may have been because Mo'nique had just won an Oscar for one of the greatest movies ever made. Or, because I was tired; dare I say emotionally drained from the subject matter listed above. You know, even Mo'nique has them- HATERS.

I am NOT the kind of girl who seeks attention. In fact, I have a very hard time with getting it, even receiving a compliment. There is a HUGE part of me that is very shy and introverted. Yet, I am a performer. I am a stage baby. Sometimes I think people confuse the stage persona with the real person, but I am none of the things that people have labeled me as.

This year as Miss Black USA has been interesting. I feel like my little group of green people have been reduce to ONE BIG GREEN MONSTER. This monster has decided to make its weapon the Internet, using emails and technology to confront me as an opponent. I am not sure what I did, nor am I sure if the problem is me at all. This monster has been in existence for years! Every Miss Black USA or person who has been marked by God with greatness has had to deal with it. The monster's goal is obvious to me: I want to make Shayna ( Or you) look bad, so I can feel better about myself. I will convince myself that she is an awful person without EVER taking the time to get to know her. I will tell ANYONE who listens to me that she is not worthy of the title and then I will turn around and smile in her face. I will avoid communication with her because then I will be forced to confront my own issues. I will dig and find things on her and if I can't find anything I will CREATE negativity so that people will join in my movement to destroy the character of an innocent woman. I will make her promises that I can't keep. I will threaten her to make sure that she respects my power. And then, just so I can stay hidden from the public that has already rejected me- I will use my computer to tear her down.... especially when I know she is weak.

The truth is: Our BIG GREEN MONSTERS are about to be exposed!!!!!! They may try to hide behind computers, fancy dresses and titles, but this morning God told me to encourage you all because they can't hide forever.

God is in the business of exposing people. He exposed me enough to make it to Miss Black USA and he'll expose the BIG GREEN MONSTER'S in our lives for being so miserable and hurt that they can't celebrate the beauty of someone else.

My monster went from smiling and building me up to tearing me down every moment it is given to do so. Let's discuss what we can learn from my silly monster:
1. MY MONSTER is HUGE in insecurities but small in SELF-LOVE
2. MY MONSTER hides because in its mind the world will not accept it, thus it hates EVERY person that the world celebrates
3. MY MONSTER hides behind titles because they are its validation not occupation or vision. Thus, if you have a vision, MY MONSTER wants to come against it instead of asking you, how do I enhance my vision?

4. MY MONSTER IS LONELY, DEPRESSED, AN IMPOSTOR, AND IN NEED OF LOVE...

Huh???? You may be saying to yourself.

Yes, IN NEED OF LOVE!!!!!!

The truth about haters is that they need love. They don't love themselves so how on earth can they love you? They are their worst BIG HUGE GREEN MONSTERS in the dark. They tantalize themselves. So, the truth is we will be held accountable for what we know. Therefore, because you know the truth you must keep them in prayer. Much like Mo'niques character in "Precious" we hated her but she left us wondering, What happened to you in your life to make you want to hurt others?

PRAY FOR YOUR HATERS..... I know I do.

After all, just like Jesus needed Judas we need our haters in order to get to the next level.

So the next time they attack, look up to God and say- Thank you...

AND to my BIG HUGE GREEN MONSTER... I love you and there ain't nothing you can do about it!

I love you 4 real,
THELadyDiva

To Lay or not to Lay? That is the question....

" I've got MYSELF to remind me of Love" - Frankie Beverly

Dear Diary,

He was hot. I mean HOT. Dolce and Gabbanna model sexy. And diary he was here with me!!!!! His eyes were piercing mine and I felt desirable even in my silk head scarf that I wear to bed... he found me beautiful.

Okay, I'll start from the beginning. There was a time diary when I felt perfectly fine with a young man sleeping in my bed. No, we didn't have to have sex. I just enjoyed the yumminess of a man. I would find myself caught between the lust of my body and the lust of my wanting to be held by a man; ANY man. As a child I can remember my mother holding me on her lap, kissing my face gently and calling me her "Pumpkin". I learned from her the true meaning of sisterhood and the healing powers of a mother's touch. I also remember laying on my father as he left his imprint on my mothers couch. I can remember the laughter we shared, but more importantly how brief those moments were. I learned from him to embrace and treasure the touch of a man, because a man's affection is fleeting. Thus, I am not surprised that EVERY guy I've dated seriously was allowed to at some point share a bed with me. No, I didn't have sex with them ( Well, not all of them). But I thought nothing of "laying" with the man. After all, I needed to feel the touch of a man and I knew that eventually the opportunity would pass. So, sometimes it took a few months, a few weeks, a few days- but I would end up curled up under a man searching for the longevity that I deserved from my father. It's the truth, Diary. I have been INSANE about this issue. Always expecting a new outcome when I was going about things in an old way.

AND THEN HE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR...

With an overnight bag stapled to his grown man dress coat. And there I was, looking like I was officially learning to sleep ALONE for a change. I could barely feel my legs and then I realized I was right back to being the little girl who tried to hide in her fathers bosom to find her beauty. I could see myself clearly.

Tiny little doll baby, hair in barrettes, singing Michael Jackson for fun. There he was laying on the couch in a hot sauce stained undershirt, feet raised high, cigarette to his lip. He was my daddy. He was my first love. If only he would let me lay on him for a moment. Let me sleep beside him to feel his affirmation of my toothless mouth and skinny legs. I'll give anything to have him want me around. ANYTHING. Anything that at my age I could afford. I just need him to teach me right now how men 20 years from now should treat me. I need him to hold me so that I don't let every man hold me or have me years from now. He looks over to me, he looks over at the television, he goes back to smoking his cancer stick. I decide to take matters into my own hands. I feel like a cross between Joan of Arc and Angela Davis. REVOLUTION! DADDY YOU WILL HOLD ME! I decide to throw myself at him. I climb onto the couch next to him. I lean in to lay down. This was the moment. He didn't have a choice, he was going to embrace me. Right? I layed there waiting... waiting for him to say all the things a girl needs to hear. Call them "Sweet Somethings", if you will. But I got nothing but a cold embrace and a desire to meet my need elsewhere.

He was SO hot. His conversation electrifies me DIARY. But, I knew if I let him stay here I would be making him my father. He deserved better than to be my pseudo paternal figure. And I deserve more than a man who is okay with laying in my bed, feeling on my booty and then leaving the next day without so much as a marriage proposal! ( Smile).

There was a time diary that I looked forward to having a mans arms around me. But for some reason... I'd rather wait until I'm sure that I am not using those men to fulfill a desire that they'll never be able to meet.

SO, I guess what I'm saying is I may have to turn away a few more fine men before I learn my lesson. I mean, what would other Lady Diva's think? I can hear you diary.... NO, they would have never known. But I would have known. I would have awakened to the beautiful sun and his beautiful face but I would have still been waiting for him to validate my beauty!

NOT SO!

God is my father. He validates my beauty. And he would have known that I shared my bed- yet again after encouraging LadyDivas everywhere to make their beds sacred.

YES. HE IS FINE.... But was it worth YET ANOTHER dent in character?


I've come to learn that I'll never get back my childhood, nor the moments that I wish I had with my father, but I have an opportunity TODAY to make my life shine.... even if it means denying my overwhelming desire to have a man in my bed.

There are SO many sisters out here who say, " Well, I ONLY have oral sex with guys" or " I ONLY have sex with guys that I am in a committed relation ship with", or my current situation, " Well, I ONLY want to lay in bed with a man". My question for all of us is, Why are we doing it? Are we doing it because we want to? Or are we doing to in order to cover or overcompensate for loneliness, depression, past hurts or disappointments?

Diary, I think we should ALL think about that before as we ponder the question, " To Lay or not to lay?"

In the mean time... I'm going to learn for the first time in my life to lay alone.... as long as I have Frankie Beverly playing in the back round... I'll be fine,

With All I Am,

Shay
THELadyDiva

Who do you represent? ( Dedicated to EVERY Person and LadyDiva who died in Haiti)

Dear Diary,

97 years ago 22 young women found the courage to say NO MORE! They defined the words, " Curse-Breakers"....

My living room is always very peaceful. Even on the days that I bring my drama to it's comfortable floor- it still demands peace out of me. Sometimes, we take the beauty of simplicity for granted. But, this morning I found it irresistible. My eyes stayed fixated on the gorgeous Crimson and Creme jacket, draping my dining room chair that reads, " Dream Girl" on the rear. As I zoned in on the jacket that was given to me as sign of my new found sisterhood, I began to think...

" What exactly does it mean to be a Dream Girl TODAY?"

There I was breathing "NEW" air, staring at my Delta Jacket, eating a fresh bowl of Co-Co Puffs, feeling the aches and pains of the morning resting in knees, trying my best to FIND time to hit my knees and spend time with MY "Secret Keeper". The television was still blaring a story that nearly stole my joy the night prior. However, this time there was a number, " Hundreds of Thousands" of people were killed in Haiti.

Diary, how is this possible? They were here a moment ago? But now, gone.

I then closed my eyes to see the vision of a little girl carrying what little she could offer her family to eat. I see her piecing together pages in a worn down book. I see her determined to read... I see her dreaming of a freedom that I have taken for granted. She is the REAL LadyDiva... she is the real curse breaker...

Diary, on this day that I am so proud to call my self a DELTA, a woman, a LADY, a HUMAN... I've decided to learn from this tragic event.

WHAT LESSONS CAN BE LEARNED FROM HAITI?

1. DreamGirls aren't just in movies that are based on the Supremes! DreamGirls are everywhere. They walked the streets of D.C for women's suffrage while ignorance threw rocks. They walked the streets of Haiti, searching for the God in their circumstances. He was there for them, and he is there for us.

2. DreamGirls don't just wear Shiny Red sorority jackets ( Although I absolutely LOVE mine). They wear business suits, police uniforms, and rags. They can't be placed in a box. They are too focused on their CHANGE and making CHANGE. Our DREAMGIRLS in Haiti are visionaries and can teach us not to take our blessings for granted. They found an inward treasure in dreaming... where as we focus deeply on the outward "gifts" of the world...

3. DreamGirls still believe GOD even when things aren't ideal. It's no secret diary, Haiti is one of the most underdeveloped countries in the world. Prior to this catastrophic event, our little LadyDivas there were hurting. Struggling with the same issues that I dealt with, however I woke up to a life of ease- although I pretended it was strife. Those young ladies just keep on moving... and more importantly, they kept on dreaming...


97 years ago today, the founders of my illustrious sorority made it possible to learn what a TRUE DreamGirl is, and TODAY hundreds of thousands of Haitians are no longer with us.... teaching us to hold fast to our DREAMS... and to realize that the ability to dream is a privilege.

They are the ones to be celebrated TODAY... And always...

So Diary, I've decided to wear my Sorority Jacket TODAY with pride, not just because it's FOUNDERS DAY, but because I represent EVERY DreamGirl from here to Haiti....

It's a lofty responsibility... but some one has to do it.

I'm just glad I'm that somebody.


In Sisterly Love,

THELadyDiva

Embracing the New Thing...

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted! It wasn't your typical tired. You know, the kind that was created by lack of sleep or nightmares. I woke up tired because my mind was running in the greatest race of it's existence! Oh Diary, how do I quiet my creative mind when I feel like it is the only thing besides God that is keeping me going? How do I believe in myself enough to make my dreams a reality?I digress. Allow me to explain myself.

My beloved pastor Jimmie Ellis III(www.vccphilly.org) charged me to dream bigger than I had ever thought possible. The question that he issued was, " Why don't you believe the promises of God? What has happened in life to prevent you from embracing the "New" you rather than the "Old" you?

My "Old" you is a peculiar young women. She was designed to be a leader but somewhere between her father's addiction and her first heartbreak she began to see herself as less. You wouldn't know it! She achieved, achieved, achieved and made the people around her think that she was fine. But, deep inside, in the place where her spirit and soul found each other irresistible- she was hurting. My "Old" me then found it hard to achieve.... My "Old" me found the it hard to believe God.

Diary, sometimes we forget that we aren't what we do, we are more than the awards and honors. We are more than the bottle that we can't make it through the day without. We are more than mothers. We are more than our bad habits. We are more than our good deeds. We are souls meant to fly free, not bound by chains or painful moments. We are designed to like butterflies, discover our beauty in the intimate processes that God graces us with. They are special... we just find it hard to embrace them.

I've come to realize that embracing the truth about yourself is not as easy as most folks may think. Although we easily embrace our shortcomings, we rarely embrace God's truth. For example, Believing that we are fearfully and wonderfully made or that we were designed to be leaders not followers. I, like most people, struggle to believe this when everything around me says different. Nonetheless, I've decided that it's time to embrace the "New" thing once and for all. So, I've designed a model to keep me focus and I may share this with other LadyDivas as well:

3 REQUIREMENTS TO FACING AND EMBRACING THE "NEW" YOU

1. Have FORTITUDE: Fortitude is defined as strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage. Lets face it, renewing your mind is going to take mental strength. You must have the focus to see the process to the end. You must know before you start the process that it won't be easy. Fortitude will give you the courage to see yourself with new eyes.

2. You must walk in FORGIVENESS: I know it sounds crazy but walking in forgiveness is the only way to truly embrace your newness. You have to forgive every person who made you question the beautiful flower that you are. More importantly, you must forgive yourself. I have come to learn that when you withhold forgiveness from yourself, you are encouraging the "Old" you to live on! Walking in forgiveness is mandatory if you truly want to see the "New" you flourish.

3. You must have FAITH: I have come to KNOW that that without faith it is impossible to please God, but it is also impossible to live an ABUNDANT LIFE. There was a time in my life when I could barely pull back my covers to see the beauty of a new day without wondering, " Why am I here?". But just then, God came riding in on a white horse and he carried me away on an amazing journey in faith. I now know that he is the solid foundation by which I must build on- not my beauty, nor my achievements. He is the ONLY sure thing in life and that is what we must all put our faith in.


I'm still tired, diary. But somewhere in the midst of my sleepy eyes and morning breath, I feel empowered. Yes, I have tons of work to do... but I'm determined to see the beauty that the day holds. I must work to see what the end will be. I owe it every LadyDiva who is standing between the "Old" and the "New". I owe it to Little Shayna Rudd, a beautiful flower who didn't ask to struggle, but inherited it in order to empower young women across this nation. Fighting has always been "my way" of dealing with hurt ( Especially the hurt from my past that found its way into my present), but in this season I am going to fight for my destiny and for the creative mind that I possess. It's time to embrace the NEW!

And IT feels good...

With all I am and will be,
THELadyDiva

Monday April 6, 2009... The Fresh Starter: Anesha Garret

Dear Diary,

It has been quite sometime since I  have written to you. I must say that sometimes as a working woman it becomes a task to sit down and express your feelings for therapy. HA! We neglect ourselves so very much. Well.. I'm getting back to the business of  ME. Healing me, loving me, accepting me. It may sound vain, but for some of us it is the only way that we'll ever grow. Things are constantly changing around us, but growth is optional; it is a choice. All this time I thought I was growing but I was merely changing. Changing hairdos, clothes, and men calling it growth. How silly we can be when it comes time to buckle down and get serious about ourselves. 

I thank God for fresh starters! Today I wish to share with you the story of a Local Ladydiva. I met Anesha Garret many years ago and I must say even then she was remarkable! Anesha, like most women of this day in age had to learn to raise herself. Between the streets and generational issues Anesha became a self professed, " Hustler". I laughed every time she said it because I always equated hustling to something negative. However, hustling for her meant, keeping her head above the water, regardless of the weights that tried to make her sink. From cosmetology to business consulting, Ms. Garret has proved herself to be the ultimate business woman. Currently she is a full time college student, nurse practitioner, cosmetologist, and entrepreneur( Ms. Garret is the founder and head chef of "SweetEats" bakery in Philadelphia,PA). When I finally caught up with Ms. Garret I asked her the ultimate question, " How Do you Balance it, and who/ what are your inspirations?"

She answered with power reaching from the pain of her story,

" I do what needs to be done. I refuse to fail, because failure is simply not an option! I try my best to do everything 100% and the second I feel I can't I eliminate something that is not going to help me move forward in my purpose. Yes, I cry. Yes, I doubt sometimes. However, I always dust myself off and get back in the game. I am inspired by God and the women who have come before me. My story is no different from theirs. We don't always do what we wanna do, but we always do what we have to do".

Leaving that conversation I knew that I needed to re-commit myself to the ME. One thing that stood out was Ms. Garret's ability to preserve self. In the midst of our busy schedules we always seem to put everything and everyone before us. I'm not saying be so self-involved that you think God created you and only you for you and only you. Nonetheless, on this fresh starter Monday, let's promise ourselves that we will be dedicated to the progress of ourselves so that growth will continue, thus provoking true change. Oh Diary, the possibilities are endless... after all it's only Monday! If today is a reflection of the days to come, I am in awe of what's next.

Expectancy is an understatement..

Until Next time,

TheLadyDiva

www.ladydivaforlife.com

www.missblackpa09.com

For More Information on or to place an order for "SweetEats" feel free to contact Anesha Garret yourself:  aneshagarrett@yahoo.com 

Virginity for Sale?

January 23, 2009

Dear Diary,

Natalie Dylan is selling her virginity. Diary, I'm not lying! This beautiful queen. This magnificent being, who is precious in the sight of God has decided to sell her virginity to the highest bidder. Oh, and the bids are high. According to CNN(www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/01/22/virginity.value/index.html), the bid is currently at $3.8 Million! Dylan's milky skin, and supple body has provoked men in California to go wild! Or, maybe it isn't in her long, layered, shampoo model hair or her hips that sit ready. Maybe it's in the idea of being the first. The ego trip that it takes men on to know that they were the first to conquer the purity of  an untouched womb. What a gift that is?  Not just to be the first touch it, but to be able to hold onto to that gift for 22 years. This morning, I wish that I could bring Ms. Dylan to Anacostia Senior High School. I'm sure 3.8 Million is very tempting, but somethings should be priceless.

I would walk Ms. Dylan around to the teen parents program so that she can sit and ask each young lady how their first time was. 3 out of 10 students in this program are trying their hardest to forget it. There were no candles and slow music playing. There were tears. Moments of gasping for air trying to breath in spite of the pain that they were feeling. Their minds were wondering if they told their mothers the truth about this experience would she ever believe? Ms. Dylan, while you are  selling your lovely livelihood for the price of your soul, my students are mentally frozen in a place called rape, molestation, violation, manipulation. A place of, " I did it because he said he loved me", and " If I wasn't as developed my uncle would have never touched me". Now, I do know women who don't have this story. Who would tell you to take the money and run! They aren't aware of the power that you possess and the power you are willing to give away for financial stability. Has the economy come to this? Are we so hard pressed for dollars that we are willing to sell our integrity and bodies? Explain your way of thinking to young women around the world who built their discomfort in knowing that the one thing you are willing to give away they had taken away or gave in hopes to receive love. 

Some way I know that Ms. Dylan is looking for the same thing. 

I'm sure she feels loved because CNN is making her a star and MySpace is laughing at her all the way to the bank, but that will never be enough. 

LadyDiva's, you will be searching your entire life for the love that ONLY God can give. There is no man, money, clothing, or accomplishment that can wipe away the feelings of abandonment, rejection, abuse or neglect. Your virginity is not all you are, but it is a gift from God. Please cherish and hold onto it! I'm sure that this is an unpopular message. However, I don't care about fads or popularity! THERE ARE WOMEN ALL OVER WHO WISH THEY COULD HAVE THAT SPECIAL, IRREPLACEABLE, INNOCENT GIFT BACK! SAVE IT! LOVE IT! AND GIVE IT AT GOD'S APPOINTED TIME...and  HIS TIME IS NOT THE TIME THAT THE WORLD IS ON!

Ms. Dylan has the opportunity to stand for women all over( Especially with all of this media attention)! She can stand for the young girl whose mother sold her for a hit of crack. For the girl sold into slavery at age 8 and was forced to be the concubine of a ruler 3 times her age. For the girl who must prostitute her body in foreign countries to provide for a family that was destroyed by war. Diary, she can stand for me. 

And If she doesn't, although I pray she does, WE my LadyDiva's will stand for ourselves! We will, despite what life has offered us, increase the value of the virginity, thus our commitment to self-preservation. We serve a God of the 2nd, 3rd, 1500th chance! I am learning diary, that everyday is another opportunity to get it right. To be better than the day before. To embrace our story and find beauty in it's ashes. 

To find Beauty in It's Ashes...

That ALONE is priceless...

In Sisterly Love...

THELadyDiva